


"Why Are We Whispering?"

by Lynchy8



Series: OMG Check Please fic [4]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, One Shot, Short, blink and you'll miss it ransom x holster, but trust me they have each other's backs, chowder is awesome, hockey boys protecting their honour, sneaking about in the dark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-09-17 12:24:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9323417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lynchy8/pseuds/Lynchy8
Summary: “Think it’s the LAX bros trying to prank us?” Ransom grabbed his hockey stick, Ransom shrugged, his own stick in hand.“Dunno, but there’s definitely someone creeping around downstairs.”The Haus is being raided, and its up to Ransom and Holster to protect their borders. In which Chowder is adorable, and thank goodness for Lardo.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [purple_embroidery](https://archiveofourown.org/users/purple_embroidery/gifts).



> Hullo gentle readers.  
> This is a prompt I got on tumblr that grew into its own ficlet.  
> It's canon divergent in so far as its an alternative timeline set between "Hi Honey Part II" and "Me and Jack".

“Brah… BRAH!” 

An urgent whisper, accompanied by a sharp kick from the bottom bunk, wrenched Ransom from his sleep.

“Wha..?”

“SHHHHH!” Holster cut him off, and Ransom bet if he were to peek down to the bottom bunk he would see Holster with his finger on his lips. “There’s someone in the Haus.”

It took Ransom a clear five seconds to realise his bunkmate wasn’t talking generally, before he climbed down off the top bunk, now fully awake and alert.

“Think it’s the LAX bros trying to prank us?” Ransom grabbed his hockey stick, not bothering to find a shirt, and turned towards the attic door. Ransom shrugged, his own stick in hand.

“Dunno, but there’s definitely someone creeping around downstairs.”

That would be very uncool, Ransom thought. Well, whoever it was, they weren’t going to get away with it. This was a matter of honour. As joint captains, it was their responsibility to protect the Haus and everyone in it. Together, they padded down the stairs towards the landing. 

There was definitely something going on downstairs. Ransom, feeling brave, edged closer to the staircase, comforted that Holster had his back. He strained to listen for any clues as to who was raiding them in the middle of the night.

“Well this is weird,” A voice suddenly cut through the silence of the landing, Ransom’s heart almost bursting out his chest in shock. He grabbed hold of Holster, just as Holster grabbed him. Meanwhile the source of the voice stared at the pair of them in wide-eyed confusion.

“Christ, Chowder!” Holster hissed, recovering himself first and still managing to keep his voice low. “Sneaking up on a bro like that is not cool. Not cool, man.”

“Sorry,” Chowder whispered back, but Ransom held up a finger just as someone coughed downstairs. Everyone froze, and Ransom could swear he could hear his actual heartbeat pulsing loud in his ears. 

All at once, Chowder disappeared and then reappeared on the landing with his goalie hockey mask and his game face on, and Ransom felt a stab of pride for him, ready to stand up against the nefarious intruders downstairs. 

With a deep breath, all three of them edged towards the end of the landing. 

“What do you think?” Ransom looked over to Holster who was frowning.

“I think they’re in the kitchen.”

“Guys?”

“SHHHH!” All three of them sprang round to find Lardo leaning against her door frame, arms crossed over her over-sized hockey shirt, trying not to laugh at the gaggle of hockey boys outside her door, semi-nude and armed with hockey sticks.

“Why are we whispering?” she indulged them, stage-whispering in turn. 

“We’re being murdered in our beds,” Chowder squeaked. 

“Intruders,” Holster added grimly.

“LAX bros,” Ransom glared. Lardo nodded.

“Well then. For the Haus and for glory,” she waived them on towards the stairs.

Somehow all four of them managed to shuffle down the stairs whilst avoiding the creaky floorboard. The kitchen door was open and light spilled into the hallway. 

Carefully, not willing to give the intruders any warning that the game was up, they peered round the door frame to see what they were dealing with.

Jack Zimmermann, who really shouldn’t be anywhere near Samwell at that moment, was sitting at the kitchen table while Bitty fussed at his wet hair with a tea towel, clucking at him in a soft tone usually reserved for coaxing his pies out of the oven. Then he leant down, and Jack met him in a soft, intimate kiss.

Lardo clapped one hand over Chowder’s mouth, and gently steered him backwards towards the stairs, before turning back to herd Ransom and Holster upstairs.

“You never heard anything, you never saw anything, it never happened,” she recited.

“It never happened,” came the chorus of whispers as they trooped upstairs. Ransom and Holster both disappeared up to their attic without another word.

Chowder paused in the doorway of his bedroom, pulling off his hockey mask.

“Night Chowder,” she said, not unkindly. He gave her a small smile and closed his bedroom door.

+

“What was that all about?”

Shitty was lying on her bed – his old bed – looking every bit like he’d never left for Harvard. She smiled at him as she shimmied out of her hockey shirt and climbed back into bed. 

“Burglars,” she murmured, kissing his cheek before swiping the spliff from between his lips. He shrugged in apparent acceptance of this answer. “Also you owe me five bucks.”

**Author's Note:**

> Original title for this, honestly, was going to be Careless Whisper, but I didn't want anyone to think I was being glib about the late great George Michael. 
> 
> Sarah gave me this prompt and automatically I had this image of this guys sneaking around in the dark, fully ready to defend their borders as necessary. I really enjoyed writing this and I hope you enjoyed reading it.


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